People get less time for murder

That's what my DH always says when he talks about our upcoming 20th wedding anniversary.  It makes me grin every time I hear it.  Mostly because it's true.  Marriage is never always easy.  I like to think of ours as a work in progress.  Every day we work towards the common goals.  We dreamed together and made plans together and every day we have been working towards making those dreams come true.  Sometimes the dreams change.  Sometimes the plan changes.  But our happiness for one another never changes.  I want my DH to be happy.  No matter what he dreams.  And I know he wants the same for me.  Ultimately when we are both happy our marriage is a happy place.  The scales can tip - and often do - but we each share the common goal of "centering" that scale.  People in prison for murder should be so lucky as to have a sentence of 20 years for being part of a team like ours.  

Rewarding? Or the reward?

Is there a difference?  I think so.  I wonder at times if accomplishing the task is rewarding or the reward.  I wonder if completing a project is the reward or is it rewarding?  You might say they are one in the same, but to me they are not.  One is a verb; rewarding in that I feel the journey as the important aspect.  The noun - reward is that the completed project itself is what matters and not the journey.  Sometimes I think I complicate things too much by dissecting to this level, but for me it brings clarity and appreciation.  I compartmentalize a lot.  It helps me to see different levels/views.  Things don't overlap well for me.  I don't like overlapping.  I like clear dilineation.  Something is either complete or it's not.  There is no "almost".  Not for me anyway.  So when I look at it from that aspect it's the finished product that is my reward.  I don't seem to enjoy the journey and maybe I should.  Too many outside variables influence the journey.  Too many people with views different from mine; styles unlike mine; priorities not my own.  I think that's the "rub" for me. 

Why is it you only get one life?  It's way too short for me to do everything that I want to do.  My list of things to get completed seems to grow and although I do check things off, they are a far cry from the ones I add.  Wonder if you didn't die until your list was finished to your satisfaction?  I've met old people who say they are "finished" and are ready to leave.  Their list has been checked off item by item and they are done.  Nothing left for them to do "here". 

Money and time seem to be a common theme.  We lack time due to the need for money which requires work.  Work takes away from often doing things on her list, although I agree work can also be on the list...  Are we supposed to stop making money to complete our list?  Are we supposed to make due with what we have earned and stop adding new things to our list?  Is our list influenced by the money we make?    If I had to choose between more money or more time I would always choose more time.  Always.  Time for me provides way more satisfaction than money.  Money is fleeting and the things that come along with it.  To me time is the investment; not the money. 

And so are my thoughts for a drizzly Friday... 

Gettin a little bumpy up in here

That's a favorite line of a co-worker of mine.  And she's normally right.  Last week brought a shake up long overdue and I'm still on cloud 9.  Euphoria is a very good thing. 

The funniest part has been the people.  I won't get specific, but suffice it to say many are acting in a way that is almost comical.  There is no stress as a result of this change.  As a matter of fact there is less and in some cases; it's now completely vanished.  Put that into perspective.  Bottomline is work has improved for me 100 fold and I couldn't feel more blessed or content.

Crochet.  For a while it was on the back burner because I was trying so hard to get away from the things that were bothering me.  Now I am finding the same joy I used to crocheting.  I'm in the middle of my fair afghan.  I must admit this "new" pattern is a lot of fun and I am really liking how the colors seem to work out without any planning.  Although I am a very balanced person (Libra) for some reason the randomness of this feels "balanced" to me.

 

We have made some great strides at the ranch.  I am slowly creating the space I've always wanted.  I have been experimenting and having much success with seeds.  Ohio is a marvelous place to plant and as a friend of ours loves to say, "You can grow anything here."  And he's right.  Even for a brown thumb like me I'm having a lot of fun and success planting flowers and making our space look pleasing.  The red "K" was a find at a flea market and I think it's perfect.

I've been trying to work with Dolly as she needs it and so do I.  She's been a willing partner.  Second day in a row I've gotten her out to do ground work and just sort of peak her curiosity and I think it's working.  She's smarter than I am and she likes to have a job; even if it's to walk smartly across the green pasture several times with intent.  Intent being the operative word.  Walk with a purpose. Walk like it's my job.  Walk like it's the most imporant thing I'll do all day.  And she enjoys it.  Her ears are up; eyes bright and her step always light.  Then she gets my phone and takes a selfie.  Yep, she's feeling good, too.



Music

Anyone that knows me even a little knows how much I love music.  It is my salvation.  It is where I find my voice when I cannot find the words.  It is where I find my heart.  I am open to all kinds of music, because good music crosses all genres.  I grew up listening to Elvis and Merle Haggard.  By choice.  I had a very broad range of musical interest. I listened (on my own) to Wayne Newton, for instance.  I grew up knowing every word to every song on every one of his albums.  Didn't make me popular at school, but what it did give me was an appreciation for talent, looking outside what the world around me was telling me was "cool".  I also listened to Bob Seger, ACDC, The Eagles, The Monkees, U2, The Osmonds, Jackson Five, Jimi Hendrix, CCR, Oak Ridge Boys, Alabama, George Strait.  The list goes on and on and on... 

Today my musical taste hasn't changed.  My iPod is a mixture of bluegrass, gangstagrass (look it up), country (old and new), rock, pop, alternative, metal and classic rock.  I like it when others tell me about bands they listen to I might not know about.  I just found two that way; The Black Angels and Golden Animals.  Although I am 50, and hardly likely to be a fan, I am enthralled with Default, Theory of a Deadman, Staind, and Cage the Elephant.  I am a long time fan of Daughtry, although that's not a surprise.  Bluegrass music was something my Dad listened to and although at the time I certainly didn't have the appreciation for it that I do now I realized it's significance in American musical culture.  I love the newer bluegrass bands like Newfound Road and Steeldrivers. 

Music is my salvation. 

Hope floats

I wake up every day with a positive attitude.  It's as if the slate is wiped clean from the day before.  All the people that got on my nerves is forgiven.  All the work that was so frustrating is a memory.  I exit the elevator on my floor hopeful that today is the day.  It normally doesn't take very long for that old feeling to creep back in.  People are creatures of habit.  If they are normally late for meetings, nothing is going to miraculously happen overnight to make them less late.  Sigh.  I love that saying "Hope Floats".  To me it resonates sunrise and a new day.  A new beginning to do better and be better.  I wish others could/would embrace it.  But we are often stuck in ruts too deep to get out of.  People often don't like feedback or criticism, so approaching them to make changes can be a struggle.  I'm not perfect and I take way too much personal when I shouldn't.  But I think I am very self aware.  I realize when others are silently criticizing me for things I fall short on.  I would prefer to fix those before they feel the need to make a suggestion.  Others don't seem to follow this lead.  I often wonder if they have an attitude of self-importance.  Like people who are habitually late for everything.  It's been my experience that these people think it rude others don't wait for them.  I know there are often circumstances outside of our control, but people need to take accountability at some point. 

Okay, I'm off my soapbox.  On to better things...

I am in the middle of 2 blankets; one Ohio state and another signature throw.  The signature throw is the furthest along, but the Ohio state blanket needs to be finished first.  That's my first priority this weekend.  It's for a coworker's husband and a surprise for him.  I bought some beautiful purple yarn for the next signature throw and I can barely contain my excitement to start it and see if the colors are as amazing as I think they will be.  I've had a lot of traffic to the Etsy shop lately.  It seems they are checking out my sold blankets, so I feel a little driven to get something out there for inventory.

I'm hosting the February Craft Club.  We are going to make our own personal mini pizzas.  We have two new members and they are younger so it's nice to see their interest and enthusiasm. 

My sister is hosting a jewelry party on Saturday.  I am looking forward to going and maybe finding a cool piece or two...

Off to start my day.  Yay, it's Friday!!!

WFH

WFH = Work From Home, for those that aren't aware of that acronym.  Yesterday I left work around 5 and had clear weather the entire drive.  DH and I decided (unwisely) to have grilled sandwiches for dinner.  Now, on the surface that doesn't sound bad, but have you ever had one of those meals where NOTHING tastes good??  That was our dinner.  We have this tradition where if dinner sucks, we have to make up for it with a DQ Blizzard.  So, he buys and I fly.  Now DQ is only about 5 miles down the road from our house and a straight shot, but when I opened the door onto the deck, I realized my drive could be a little more dramatic than I expected.  The snow had started coming down with a vengence!  But I was on a mission, so I got into my trusty car and headed out.  Honestly the driving conditions were alright for someone taking it slower than normal and paying attention.  DQ was empty as one would imagine and I got our make-up dinner and headed back home.  I was behind a car who was directly behind a salt truck.  So it was even slower travel.  I pulled into our driveway and my DH is there to greet me.  He was worried sick about me being out in that after he realized it was coming down so hard and how long it had taken me.  We enjoyed our blizzards and listened to the freezing rain hitting our house.  It sounded like rocks being thrown.  I went to bed and it was still coming down.  I woke up at midnight and it was still coming down.  I was up at 5:30 to feed the cats and after evaluating the road conditions in front of my house I made the command decision to WFH.  Many others are doing the same.  It's just not worth an accident.  They provide a laptop and access to their network.  It's sort of a no-brainer. 

I'm anxious for the sun to come up so I can see what we got!  The lights shining on the snow/ice make for a lovely scene!  We have dripping ice off of branches, picnic tables, porch rails...  Although quite a few have braved the roads and there is traffic on our street, it's moving really slow.  I've yet to see a salt truck this morning. 

Hope everyone has an awesome Wednesday!

No rest for the wicked

Greetings.  Apologies for my absence.  Not what I had intended.  Let's see if we can't keep this rolling, shall we?

1.  Nashville is a great city.  Loved everything about it. 
2.  I Love Lucy musical was awful.  I've seen better high school musicals.
3.  Boo on the Super Bowl.  Not only because the Broncos lost, but it just wasn't a "good" game to watch.  I thought the commercials (save for the 2 by Budweiser, the T-Mobile ones) were awful. 
4.  Bruno Mars was great.

The DH and I went to a Super Bowl party and because it wasn't far from where I work we got a hotel.  I learned something about myself and my DH.  I learned that how I cope with my job isn't congenial with everyone.  The DH doesn't like being outside his comfort zone.  He is a homebody of sorts.  Being in a hotel for me is just something I do sometimes.  It's not ideal.  It's normally not "fun".  It's tolerable.  It gives me a break from my hour commute.  It breaks up what would otherwise be a long week.  For me it's not a big deal.  For him, it was a very big deal.  He definitely doesn't like new things.  1150.  That's how many days I have till retirement.  At least that's the magic number right now.  If things go well, that would be greatly reduced.  Time will tell. 

FoFo I apologize for not getting back to you about a visit.  My daughter had plans for us all weekend and as it turned out we had such a good time Friday night, Saturday morning and into the afternoon were spent recuperating.  :)  I will go back to Nashville though.  I really loved it.  What a great music town.  I mean, I've heard that before, but I guess I just never believed it.  Boy, was I ever wrong. 

Hope everyone has a great day!

Time is on my side

Every once in a while I start to let age get to me.  I start looking back instead of looking ahead.  Back I see missed opportunities.  Back I see half a century.  Back I see a girl who had many dreams. 

I'm not completely unhappy where I am now.  I think everyone dreams big and over time realizes it's quite impossible to do everything and be everything.  But we certainly still want to, don't we? 

I know that somehow I am exactly where I am supposed to be.  The people and places I've come in contact with are all part of the plan for me.  Finding that piece of the puzzle in everyone and everything is often hard.  I don't leave anything to chance.  I believe everything happens for a reason.  I often over analyze looking for that reason.  It's hard to accept God's plan without question.  "Jesus Take the Wheel" seems like the perfect phrase right about now. 

TGIF

Snowing like crazy here.  It's hard to keep my mind on the business at hand.  I would much rather be on my couch, hook and yarn in hand enjoying the snow falling from my window at home.  Not much expected; 1-2 inches, but it seems we've already gotten that.  Time will tell, I suppose. 

This is the recent Signature throw that's been completed and already sold.  It's a very nice feeling blanket; heavy yet so much that you have to shed it after only a few minutes.  It's a very fast moving blanket because you change colors every second row.  Stopping off at the store to pick up my next colors.  I have some scrap yarn coming to me from one of the yarn gang gals on Sunday.  Can't wait to see what she gives me! 

So far for us 2014 is looking up.  The DH and I are very excited about what this year holds for us; some financial relieve, 20 year wedding anniversary, campout #2, additional pasture, train room....  All smiles here. 

The DD and I are headed to Nashville next weekend.  We got her tickets to the I Love Lucy musical and she and I are making it a girls trip.  :)  Can't wait.  I've been working out on my alcohol tolerance because she's gonna hurt me.  LOL 


It's time

I've been wrestling with this for about a year now and I think it's time I became official. By that I mean, claim my crocheting as a legit business with income, expenses and such. I've been doing a lot of research on line and the income I've received through Etsy should all be listed as income and I should be paying taxes on it. By doing that I also get to claim expenses, so I am hoping it will balance itself out. This year I plan on keeping very detailed records and making it all official for 2014 tax filings. Does anyone have experience with this? And if so, what are the biggest problems you've encountered? Tips? We have sold the house in California. You can cheer now - loudly. We should close between 2/7 and 2/15. We made a little money, which will go towards the truck we are buying and put a little in savings and pay off one bill. We are so happy that is a done deal. Sadly our renters left us with quite a mess and it cost more to get it ready to sell than we expected. We sent the old renters a balance due (in excess of their deposit) and haven't heard from them. We doubt we will. I don't know how people can just do that - ignore bills and treat it as if it's the RIGHT thing to do. It's no wonder they are in the financial situation they are in... Enough said. We have Direct TV and as of yesterday they no longer carry The Weather Channel. They have replaced it with Weather Nation. I am divided on this. You see, as a weather geek (self-proclaimed) I watch the weather - a lot. Lately the Weather Channel has disappointed me with their reality shows. The weather should be "raw" - with radar screens and maps. I don't care about prospectors. Weather Nation is definitely more raw. However, the Weather Nation lacks one thing - Jim Cantore. I shall miss seeing him. I've been a nail biter for most of my life. In fact, I remember specifically starting to bite my nails in order to stop another habit that my mother didn't like. Little did I know how destructive nail biting would end up being. I bite my nails, but I also bite and pick at the cuticles more so. One way I seemed to do less of that was to get acrylics. Due to our finances over the past 3 months I've had to quelch that and oddly enough my own nails are now coming along nicely. I am not sure how or why. I don't remember telling myself to stop biting my nails. I still pick and bite at my cuticles a little, but no where near as badly as I did before. I am thankful for this. It makes me feel good. Okay, lunch is over and work calls. Hope you all enjoy your day!

When is enough, enough?

Driving in to work this morning I started feeling like I would have rather been anywhere else but driving to work. I get this way sometimes. Maybe it's the hour and fifteen minute commute I have each way? Maybe it's that my job isn't really where I would like to be? Maybe it's that I feel like I'm wasting my time. Maybe, just maybe, it's all of the above. Have you ever felt like you were destined for something more? Something greater? Something better? And by "better" I think I mean better by me. My better might not be someone else's better. I don't have to be famous to be better than I am right now. I just have to feel better inside. Better about what I do, how I do it and living life how I always planned. With that in mind I consider my job as a means to an end. It's not long term. It's not for much longer. After that I can be who I feel I am supposed to be. That person is inside, waiting for the chance to "be". A friend of mine told me they were heading out to ride their Harley one day when we were texting. I told them they were lucky. My friend replied, "No luck involved. It's a choice." How much of life is choice and not luck? Do something you love and you'll never work a day in your life. Hmmm, I think I lost that somewhere along the way. Between paying bills and making ends meet I traded my soul for a job. Which is why I crochet with unbridled passion, I suppose. I create with my hands because 10 hours a day they are tied doing something they'd prefer to not have to do. I suppose it's all about what you want and what you need. How much is enough?

Time

Has it really been since May that I last posted? I'm not going to dwell on that. Recently a friend (Rachael) told me she writes and gave me her blog to check out. Of course I did and that started the ball rolling. I wanted to comment on some of her posts and when I tried I remembered I had a blog as well. :) So I'm back. At least for now. I won't try and catch you up on life since May. You can exhale now. It's alright. I wouldn't want to read that either. So how about we just pick up like old friends do? Things are going well at the Ranch. The girls have survived winter, in spite of the very wet and at times, frigid temps. Last week we were hit with that Polar Vortex like the rest of the country. We hit a -12* with a windchill of -40*. The girls took it all in stride and if they noticed the cold they didn't show it. I was a little nervous the first night and went out to check on them around 10PM. I think by doing so I startled them. Needless to say I won't do that again. They were just fine. Their barn is awesome; warm and dry. They always have plenty of good hay and water. We have electric buckets to keep their water from freezing. We opted to not blanket this year and I'm glad we didn't. Both of them have a good winter coat and in spite of the frigid air, they were both warm and toasty. We have 3 cats now. We rescued WT (short for White Trash) in July. She was about 2.5 weeks old. Separated physically from her mom and litter mates, eyes crusted over and on her deathbed. She was covered in fleas and was being used as a toy by a litter of very large and playful puppies. We scooped her up and took her home. With the help of our vet friends she bounced back. She was quarantined for about a week from our other two cats. She is white and literally her skin was black from the fleas. Most disgusting thing I've seen in a very long time. She's not very big, but she is a gorgeous, healthy kitty now. Hooters and WT are best buds. Dumpster doesn't pay her much attention. My crocheting continues with earnest. My focus has been on my signature throws, although I did a favor for someone and made an Ohio State blanket. She wanted it for a Xmas gift. The RYG (Red's Yarn Gang) is in it's 2nd year this month!!! Three of us never missed a month and we have grown quite close. We continue to share ideas, life and recipes once a month. They are so important to me. I look forward to reading blogs and I will post some pictures soon. Happy to be back! Oh, and if you get a chance please check out my friends' blog: One day at a time