Monday, June 16, 2014

People get less time for murder

That's what my DH always says when he talks about our upcoming 20th wedding anniversary.  It makes me grin every time I hear it.  Mostly because it's true.  Marriage is never always easy.  I like to think of ours as a work in progress.  Every day we work towards the common goals.  We dreamed together and made plans together and every day we have been working towards making those dreams come true.  Sometimes the dreams change.  Sometimes the plan changes.  But our happiness for one another never changes.  I want my DH to be happy.  No matter what he dreams.  And I know he wants the same for me.  Ultimately when we are both happy our marriage is a happy place.  The scales can tip - and often do - but we each share the common goal of "centering" that scale.  People in prison for murder should be so lucky as to have a sentence of 20 years for being part of a team like ours.  

Friday, June 13, 2014

Rewarding? Or the reward?

Is there a difference?  I think so.  I wonder at times if accomplishing the task is rewarding or the reward.  I wonder if completing a project is the reward or is it rewarding?  You might say they are one in the same, but to me they are not.  One is a verb; rewarding in that I feel the journey as the important aspect.  The noun - reward is that the completed project itself is what matters and not the journey.  Sometimes I think I complicate things too much by dissecting to this level, but for me it brings clarity and appreciation.  I compartmentalize a lot.  It helps me to see different levels/views.  Things don't overlap well for me.  I don't like overlapping.  I like clear dilineation.  Something is either complete or it's not.  There is no "almost".  Not for me anyway.  So when I look at it from that aspect it's the finished product that is my reward.  I don't seem to enjoy the journey and maybe I should.  Too many outside variables influence the journey.  Too many people with views different from mine; styles unlike mine; priorities not my own.  I think that's the "rub" for me. 

Why is it you only get one life?  It's way too short for me to do everything that I want to do.  My list of things to get completed seems to grow and although I do check things off, they are a far cry from the ones I add.  Wonder if you didn't die until your list was finished to your satisfaction?  I've met old people who say they are "finished" and are ready to leave.  Their list has been checked off item by item and they are done.  Nothing left for them to do "here". 

Money and time seem to be a common theme.  We lack time due to the need for money which requires work.  Work takes away from often doing things on her list, although I agree work can also be on the list...  Are we supposed to stop making money to complete our list?  Are we supposed to make due with what we have earned and stop adding new things to our list?  Is our list influenced by the money we make?    If I had to choose between more money or more time I would always choose more time.  Always.  Time for me provides way more satisfaction than money.  Money is fleeting and the things that come along with it.  To me time is the investment; not the money. 

And so are my thoughts for a drizzly Friday... 

Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Gettin a little bumpy up in here

That's a favorite line of a co-worker of mine.  And she's normally right.  Last week brought a shake up long overdue and I'm still on cloud 9.  Euphoria is a very good thing. 

The funniest part has been the people.  I won't get specific, but suffice it to say many are acting in a way that is almost comical.  There is no stress as a result of this change.  As a matter of fact there is less and in some cases; it's now completely vanished.  Put that into perspective.  Bottomline is work has improved for me 100 fold and I couldn't feel more blessed or content.

Crochet.  For a while it was on the back burner because I was trying so hard to get away from the things that were bothering me.  Now I am finding the same joy I used to crocheting.  I'm in the middle of my fair afghan.  I must admit this "new" pattern is a lot of fun and I am really liking how the colors seem to work out without any planning.  Although I am a very balanced person (Libra) for some reason the randomness of this feels "balanced" to me.

We have made some great strides at the ranch.  I am slowly creating the space I've always wanted.  I have been experimenting and having much success with seeds.  Ohio is a marvelous place to plant and as a friend of ours loves to say, "You can grow anything here."  And he's right.  Even for a brown thumb like me I'm having a lot of fun and success planting flowers and making our space look pleasing.  The red "K" was a find at a flea market and I think it's perfect.

I've been trying to work with Dolly as she needs it and so do I.  She's been a willing partner.  Second day in a row I've gotten her out to do ground work and just sort of peak her curiosity and I think it's working.  She's smarter than I am and she likes to have a job; even if it's to walk smartly across the green pasture several times with intent.  Intent being the operative word.  Walk with a purpose. Walk like it's my job.  Walk like it's the most imporant thing I'll do all day.  And she enjoys it.  Her ears are up; eyes bright and her step always light.  Then she gets my phone and takes a selfie.  Yep, she's feeling good, too.