There are times during the day when I wonder who I am kidding about my skillset. Honestly; is there anything I know anything about? I am beginning to think not. Have you wanted so badly to be "that" person everyone goes to for insight and answers? The last time I felt like that was in the job I had prior to moving. Everyone came to me because the work I did was something I owned. It was my creation and I was involved in it's every detail. I knew why something existed and where to find it.
Here, not so much. I just do not have a grasp as to our mission and goals. Actually, that's not correct. The real truth is I don't feel invested in either. Or perhaps the real issue is interest. It's just not very interesting to me. Everyone else's emails are so enlightening and "smart". Mine are generic and brief. Don't get me wrong - I do my job and I do it very well. But there is just that spark that is missing. I think much of it had to do with my connection to the Marines in that job. It was a job I felt like was important.
When I was younger I felt like I knew soooo much. I was a great therapist, and I had the answers. Now as I get older, and yes I am getting older, I realize I know nothing, I just try to be the best therapist I can be to help my little ones develop. Is it my age? Is it that I am off my game? Is it that I am not trying as hard or don't need to be the best, not sure but it is where I am at.
ReplyDeleteHugs to you and go easy on yourself,
Meredith
Thanks Meredith... I am not sure what's going with me to be honest. There are days I wake up and cant' wait to get to work and other days I would rather not go - feeling I wouldn't be missed. I don't want to be in this place in my life too long... It's not very fun. Thanks again. Hugs.
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