Sunday, March 18, 2012

A New Attitude

Greetings!  It has been too long since my last post.  I actually thought I had posted something since the 5th, but I guess not...  So much has happened.  Where do I begin?

My Mother and her BF have two riding mowers.  It was agreed they would lend us one, so we got the mower into the back of our truck and brough it home.  I rode it around for a bit, mowing down the wild onions (I don't like those, btw) and we turned it off to attach the roller.  It refused to start again.  So we found a local guy to take a look at it.  In the meantime my Mom found another mower that she bought for us - an almost new Craftsman.  So we went to her house to pick it up.  We got home and were unloading it from the truck when the weirdest thing happened.  My husband had built a ramp for the mowers.  Our driveway is gravel.  He had the ramp up and had just started to come down the ramp.  I was off to the right of the ramp.  My left foot was directly behind the right 2 x 6, about 2 inches.  The force of the mower shoved the ramp back just enough to push my foot and set me off balance.  I started backwards and I was absolutely unable to get my balance.  I literally fell backwards about 15 feet from the ramp, landing squarely on the small of my back.  On the gravel it felt as if I had broken something.  Poor DH was coming down the ramp on the mower so had to wait a few seconds to reach me.  The fall had knocked the wind out of me, so when he reached me I was unable to move.  He asked me if I could move my left leg and I told him "No!"  I was finally able to move and get up, but man, did I hurt!  That happened on Tuesday (13th).  I have never injured my back so this was new to me.  As most of you probably know the muscles in your back really help to move everything, so I found out pretty quick how painful a back injury can be.  I didn't go see the doctor because I knew he would simply tell me to take it easy and probably give me pain meds I didn't want.  So I took Motrin and used Icy Hot and took hot baths and the DH didn't allow me to lift anything.  Today I feel better than I have yet.  At times there are still some tweaks of pain, but nothing like those first days. 

This really has put a damper on my outdoor activities with the horses.  With being off work I was hoping to get in the saddle, but that's got to be put off until next week I do believe.  I don't want to get on one of them and end up tweaking my back or worse, winding up falling off because I don't have the strength to ride properly.  Same for the Harley...the weather has been so gorgeous here but there is no way I am going to get on my bike with my back having spasms.  I can see losing control and dropping it.  Yikes.

Yesterday was the long awaited craft sale.  I left the house and arrived a half hour before the start time.  My cousin and Aunt were already there.  We had tables right beside each other (8 ft).  It was inside the gym so there was a lot of room and all in all I'd say about 50 tables.  They did a lot of advertising for this craft sale.  It was easy to find and the church seemed to be a popular location.  I had high hopes of a good show.  I put my items out and we settled in to some chit chat and crocheting.  The show was only from 9-2pm.  There was a good deal of traffic.  The church charged $2 to enter the show and gave away a very nice shopping bag - a large one - to each shopper.  It was the strangest of shows...  My table was the 4th one in on the right side.  There was a table across from mine that was a young girl that made earrings.  The table next to me on the right was empty - the vendor never showed.  My cousin was directly to my left.  People would walk in, stop at the tables before ours and then literally skip our two crochet tables as if they were not there!  I tried everything - from making eye contact, to saying, "hello" or "good morning" to even ignoring them.  Every once in a while someone would stop and say wonderful things about my bags and the plastic bag holders and the scarves....  But no one seemed interested in buying.  I had started a dishcloth when I got there and around 1230 I finished it.  I literally finished it off, squared it up a bit and put it into my basket when a lady came by and bought it.  $3 was better than no sale.  We continued to sit for a bit, had some lunch from the snack bar and I started another dishcloth.  An older lady came by the table and started admiring the cloths in the basket.  She asked me if they shrank and I talked to her a bit about them fading a little and shrinkage in the dryer.  She ended up buying one - another $3.  Not two minutes after she bought one another woman came along and bought 2 for $5.  I had a little bit of renewed hope, but it was for naught as the rest of the show was a bust.  So $11 didn't begin to cover the cost of the table or my gas. 

When I got home I was a little down.  I mean, I crochet because I love it not to make money.  On the drive home I started brainstorming about other items I could crochet that would be something people would buy.  By the time I got home I was exhausted mentally and my back was aching.  My DH was supportive (as usual) and told me to crochet because I love doing it - not because I wanted to make money.  It wasn't what I wanted to hear.  Something in that whole situation was telling me "your work isn't anything anyone will pay for so just crochet for the love of it and don't think about selling anything."  That didn't sit well with me.  I think being unemployed and not yet having approval for unemployment has me a bit on edge.  I was hoping beyond hope that I could make a little $ from the show and help with some expensives.  I was stressing out.  The DH reminded me that we are fine right now without me having a second income outside my pension.  He told me to relax and enjoy the time off.  So I am trying.  Really hard. 

The injury really took a lot out of me and I can see how people would become really depressed from such a thing happening to them.  I feel my age (48) and I feel how out of shape I have let myself become.  This is not me.  I am not lazy and being this way is something I will not let consume me.  I refuse to let this injury rob me of my livelyhood and life.  I have a horse and a motorcycle.  I have 5 acres.  I have a room filled with yarn.  I'll be darned if 48 is old! 

So I have a new attitude about things and I hope with your help I can keep focused and move past all this!!!  With that in mind, I dug out these squares I made a while back.  Debi over at Dly's Hooks and Yarns made the most adorable granny square pillow.  I think I might give that a try with a bit of a twist! 

They are small -- about 3 inch squared.  I think they will make a nice ... something!!!


  1. Sorry to hear about your back injury - I hope it heals up fast for you.

    I know how you feel about selling your crochet to help out a little. I've tried that with a couple patterns and it's not working - I've sold about 5. Very disappointing.

    I can't wait to see what you make with those squares. :)

  2. Oh My!!!! You have so much going on.

    First I was in the best shape of my life when I hurt my back, it took me 6 months to get it back to where I needed to be and I was in my late 30's. I am 47 with no back issues at all, so you will be too. You had quite a fall and you may want to consider seeing a doctor and getting a bit of therapy, even massage will really help reduce the inflammation and promote healing.

    As for the crochet, do not be discouraged. It is a strange time of year for a craft sale I think a lot of people will go for Easter related items this time of year. You are talented and will do great next time. Do not put pressure on yourself or crochet will become a job, not something you enjoy. Be easy on yourself.


  3. Thank you both so much!! I do get regular massages. Right now I don't know if I could actually tolerate someone touching the area... I keep rolling over some ideas in my head about the squares. :)

  4. I am so sorry! I've had regular back problems since my early 20's when I worked on my feet all day. I know what you are feeling. Cold to reduce the swelling and heat to relax the muscles, that's the best thing you can do and take some motrin.

    You know, I've made gifts for people and had them totally unappreciated, and it hurt, especially when I put so much work into it. I just learned to make stuff for people who actually appreciate it. You crochet, because you love to, don't be discouraged. You do lovely work, don't doubt yourself.

    The squares would make a lovely pillow, or blanket. I can't wait to see what you make!

  5. Thank you FoFo. I'm getting better every day. I notice in the morning I am a bit stiff, but start to feel pretty good after just a little while. But by 5 pm I am achy. Motrin has become my best friend! I haven't tried cold...I will do that this evening. Thanks!!

    I have had the same thing happen to me - I make someone a gift and you can tell they do not appreciate a handmade item. It does hurt. I spent some time yesterday looking through old photos of afghangs I have made for people that DID appreciate them. That lifted my spirits!! I am leaning now towards a blanket with the squares...Perhaps a Mother's Day for my Mom! : )

  6. I know how you feel... I refuse to have another stall.. so dissapointing.. But I do crochet for charity and my family and friends..
    the colours in your squares are lovely.. :)) A square a day and before you know it you have enough for a beautiful rug..:))

  7. Sorry to hear about your back. I visit the chiropracter and get a massage pretty frequently. Once you have back issues, they really never go away. Though I am quite a bit older, will be 62 on next birthday. It is important to stay physical active, work up to things though. Stretching is always good. Walk, and bike riding I've been told are very good; as is swimming, but I'm not a swimmer.

    Sorry you didn't sell much. You perhaps weren't in a good location? Have someone with you wearing items you've made and have them walking around with cards to point out where you are next time.

    Not a big pillow fan, wonder if you wouldn't do better to make more squares and put them together for an afghan, or just enlarge the ones you have?