Undauntingly this time of year makes me feel reflective. I reflect mostly on internal things - like personal goals I've accomplished or not... This year has been difficult to measure and yet all around me I see so much growth. Growth in our property; the horse facilities growing in size and taking on a character and life of it's own, for example. Personally I feel like I've not accomplished much, but honestly this past year I have created and sold more crocheted items than ever before. Go figure. Perhaps I am, as the saying goes, my own worst enemy. Regardless, I always find myself reflecting on the good and bad things and where I am in my life.
Like everyone I have my share of secrets. Nothing so exciting and dramatic as you might imagine! Just things I keep hidden inside - personal dreams that seem to silly to share with the world, for example. Although I often think I dream big, when I hear about other's dreams mine seem to pale in comparison. It's always been this way for me. I have no real vision. A perfect example is our Dutch doors on the barn. I was thinking they would be painted red and have the traditional cross section painted in white - the standard Dutch door one sees on barns all over. My son home on leave told me to think outside the boundaries and dare to be different. What?? I think I actually caught my breath and held it. Different how? Different why? Different - why not???? So that led me to start thinking about our individual style and how we make the Red K Ranch our own. The DH has gotten into this as well and now we find ourselves talking about the uniqueness of our place and how perhaps when people drive by they will look for our barn because it is DIFFERENT.
I am very much a Libra and very much compartmentalized in my thinking. So often my ideas reflect a very rigid (stoic?) view. Not that this is a bad thing, but it hardly lends itself for individuality and creativity. So as 2012 comes to a close I am changing my way of thinking. I am going outside my "norm" and stretching the muscles in my brain (LOL) to find those things that make me unique. It will be interesting to see where I am this time next year!!!